In order to meet the ever-increasing demands of mother hens, helicopter parents and paranoid we-are-all-dying preachers, a kindergarten in Humblerville is now showing its pioneering approach.

To nip disputes in the bud, each child is assigned a slide with fixed sliding times, whose slots can be reserved in advance via the "HappySlide" app.

The slides are also available in "organic vegan free-range" or "diverse trans metro" versions, depending on the family background.

The natural lawn was replaced years ago by a hyper-allergenic and germ-free plastic imitation with rounded stalk tips. The risk of injury from cutting yourself on the grass and getting unsightly green stains on the latest collection of baby Influencer was simply intolerable.

Colour-matched safety accessories including helmet, FFP5 mask and full-body condom can be ordered via the Whatsapp group "humbling instead of grumbling".

Of course, everything is delivered CO2-neutrally from the surrounding factories, where refugees work but are not allowed to slide. After all, everything has to be in order!

Let's hope that this model will not prevail, otherwise we really will all soon be lost.

Author

SmileGlobetrotter

_{(Attention! This is satire, it should make you smile and not get upset.)}